Bethesda Account For Skyrim
Interpreting this as a joke was the natural conclusion. Except that Bethesda trolled all of us. Skyrim: Very Special Edition for Amazon Alexa is very, very real.
From the Amazon.com listing:
Bethesda Game Studios is proud to present Skyrim... for Alexa. Yes, that’s right, the version of Skyrim you never saw coming has finally arrived on the platform you never asked for.
Skyrim Very Special Edition, free to enable now on Alexa, isn't taking itself too seriously, with 'gameplay features' that line up with the humor of its laugh-out-loud trailer. This is Bethesda practically embracing criticism of its Elder Scrolls franchise and rolling with the punches, laughing all the way:
● Master your weapons, spells and shouts
● Encounter people who constantly need your help
● Guard your knees against arrows
● Fatally harm mudcrabs
● Fight dragons
● Die
● Fight another dragon
● Eat sweet rolls
● Fus Ro Dah
● Chase butterflies
● Burn spiders
● Walk straight up a mountain instead of going around
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● Vanquish malevolent evils
● There’s probably mead somewhere in there
● No goblins, though
● Soul trap woodland creatures
● Victory or Sovngarde, whichever one you prefer
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● Also cheese wheels and a fork
● Fail to collect all stones of Barenziah for like the 5th time
● Talk with guards
● Unleash the power of your Thu’um
● Open wooden doors
● Open iron doors
● Other epic things
● And more!
The 'game' currently has a 4.5 out of 5 rating on Amazon. I don't even know what to say.
UPDATE: I had no prior experience with Amazon's Alexa assistant, but apparently you don't need an Echo to 'play' Skyrim. I downloaded the Alexa app for Android and it's working perfectly. Alexa's deadpan delivery makes the narration even funnier.
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